How to Find Her Ring Size Without Her Knowing

Planning the perfect proposal means finding the perfect ring, but how do you know it'll fit? We put together tips and tricks to help you get the perfect fit without her even knowing.

There can be a lot of planning that goes into proposals, but picking out a ring is usually the most involved. Between the four Cs of diamonds and the different types of bands, there’s one detail that might get forgotten until the last minute: what size should the ring be?

The easiest way to figure this out is to simply ask. While more and more couples discuss getting married prior to getting engaged, many still choose to keep the proposal a secret. Asking your future fiance for her ring size is a great way to let the cat out of the bag — which is why we put together some tips on how to figure it out without spoiling the surprise!

First Things First

If you are worried about getting the correct size, the first person you should talk to is the jeweler you’re working with. They can offer some tips and tricks as well, but also guide you through which bands you should look at. Some engagement rings are easy to resize, such as a classic solitaire diamond with a plain band. Once you get into elaborate pave or eternity bands, however, your resize options get limited. Talk to your jewelry designer and see what they recommend before purchasing. 

Take a Look Around

If your significant other wears rings, borrowing one and checking the size is a great way to get her ring finger’s size. Even if she doesn’t wear one on her left ring finger, jewelers can often take a best-guess based on the finger she wears it on. The most optimal finger to compare sizes with is the right hand ring finger, but any ring will get you in the ballpark. 

Worried she might notice you’ve borrowed a ring for a day or two while you get down to your jeweler and back to have it checked? You can put the ring on a piece of paper and trace the inside. It’s not an exact measurement, but your jeweler can measure the diameter this way and still get pretty close. Trace the ring a couple times to make sure you get an accurate diameter.

If your partner doesn’t wear rings, all hope is not lost! Next time you’re together, hold her hand up to yours and see if any of your fingers are a similar size. Even if your pinky is still wider than her ring finger, that information alone can be helpful. Take a guess at how much bigger your fingers are, whether a lot or a little, and hopefully that will get you within a couple sizes.

Asking Without Asking

You can still ask your significant other what size ring they wear without totally ruining the surprise. The key is to be subtle about it. If you’re sweating and acting nervous, she’ll probably catch on! So take a deep breath and explain you’re buying a ring for your mom (or aunt or sister) and you think her hands are about the same size. Ask if she’d be willing to try on a couple with you, or see if she knows off the top of her head what size hers is. 

Not sure that ruse will work? Try asking someone else, such as her best friend or mom. Even if they don’t know, they can help you do some detective work without being as obvious. They might even be able to convince your partner to go ring shopping just for fun, which has the added bonus of letting you know what style of ring she might like if you aren’t sure. 

Shopping for Men

If the person you’re proposing to is male, all the same tips and tricks can apply. One thing to note is that men’s bands come in more types of metals than women’s, which makes a difference in how easy they are to resize. Softer metals like gold, platinum, and silver are easy to work with and therefore fairly easy to resize. They do scuff and scratch easier, however, which is why bands made from harder materials are popular for men’s wedding bands. Tungsten in particular is popular because it is one of the hardest known metals, but it is nearly impossible to resize. If you find you love a tungsten band, talk to your jeweler to see what options are available. While they may not be able to resize it, if it’s a popular style they may carry it in multiple sizes and let you switch yours out if you don’t get it quite right. 

If you get the correct size or not, don’t let it distract you from your proposal. You’re asking your significant other to spend the rest of their life with you — details like ring size won’t make or break that! Size up a little so it will slip on her finger when you ask, and if it’s too big, you can put it back in the box for safekeeping until you can get it resized. 

Fun Ring Size Facts

  • Jewelry stores sometimes offer free ring sizers or measuring tapes. If you’re already working with a specific jeweler, ask if they have one.
  • Our dominant hands tend to be slightly larger, so make sure you measure for the left hand specifically! On average, your dominant hand is a half size larger.
  • Most women’s ring fingers are between a size 5.5 and 6.5. In fact, over 80% of engagement rings sold in the U.S. fall within this range!
  • The wider the band on a ring, the tighter the fit. If you’re looking at a setting with a narrow band, you might be able to size down. If you want a wider or more elaborate setting, consider sizing up.