How To Create Your Wedding Vows

A vow is a sacred promise, a covenant, something that will be upheld in your marriage “‘til death do you part.”

There are a lot of different ways to express or share your vows with one another. Here is our guide to writing personalized vows.

Be original

Your significant other doesn’t want to hear the words from another person; they want sincerity, originality, and personality. They want you. We understand that not everyone is an author; looking online for inspiration is completely acceptable, but don’t copy and paste. Make sure you revise the phrases with something personal to you both to truly make them your own. Sometimes just sharing a quick personal story or moment that is meaningful to the two of you can go a long way.

Be realistic

Don’t make promises you don’t intend to or cannot physically keep. Be optimistic but realize what is attainable and stay simple. It’s a good idea to stay away from words like “never” and “always.” Absolute language creates promises that aren’t always possible to uphold. It isn’t always going to be a piece of cake, so don’t promise perfection.

Be reassuring

Remind your partner that you love them and that you will always be there “through thick and thin” and “for better or worse.”

Don’t Wait

The last thing you want to do is procrastinate writing your vows until the night before. This doesn’t mean you have to start writing them as soon as you’re engaged, but during the final month of the wedding countdown you should start thinking about what you want to say. Make a list of all your thoughts right away and turn them into a cohesive speech later!

Be sentimental or funny

Go for laughter and emotion. You want to evoke feelings, so hide your vows until the wedding day and surprise them with a poetic or romantic reading. Share something that’s personal between the two of you, perhaps an inside joke or something that has sentimental value.

Reminder: Some churches and religions don’t allow you to create your own vows. Be sure to check with your officiant before planning the idea. However, if you still want to write something to each other but you aren’t allowed to share it in front of everyone else, take the time before or after the ceremony to read your promises to one another. This is a great photo/video opportunity, as well!

As a general outline, there are five simple steps to creating vows: explaining your why behind marriage, looking back through your relationship together, mentioning the qualities that drew you in, explaining why once more (but this time mention why you love them), and finish by making your final promises.

Written by Sarah Richards